This might get me in trouble .

**just a note - this post is seventeen hours in the making .
Six minutes to write it , the rest of the time consideing if I should do it.


I've been asked why I don't keep this blog relevant , since I'm the main one posting on it .
I've been yelled at about why am I using the groups promotion page As a online diary .

But is that not what you all want .?
I mean , people listen to the stuff I write or say , and say "oh hes crazy" .
I figure if I let you into my world , it'll give you a fxcking understanding .

Can I NOT just be overly creative .?

"Fed Up , Fed Last :/ Can I live .? I guess the fxck not. Stressed the fxck out , and blessed with such doubt ." (-Truman Show)



I used to walk down Fielder road every weekend after being tortured , ridiculed , and hated at school / home . I would walk down there, until I got tothe bridge above highway traffic .
Intead of walking by , I would turn my iPod to full volume and sit on the edge.

Noone would bother me.
Noone COULD bother me .


If anyone asked ; "oh I'm just watching traffic" .
But in reality ; "oh I'm just waiting for the right opportunity to jump"


If It was water under there instead of traffic , deadass I woulda been gone .


(did Amy just admit she/he was suicidal .?)
((is this suppose to be a warning or some half-assed cry for attention .?))
(((bullshxt)))

yes I can read your thoughts .

No you can't understand mines .

Cause how could YOU do it , when I live in two different realities and I don't even understand nor can I tell the difference between my two perceptions of thought.
Or when I still can't leave my room when I'm home alone cause of the shxt only I see and hear.
Or when then the fact remains that i still relate myself to a cartoon because I hate her almost as much as I hate myself(s) .

Who else caught that
Overly Dramatic Metaphor .?
(y'all are still sleeping .)


Oh , and as another note : I have ONE friend . And she knows who she is . I trust everyone . . While at the same time trusting noone .I have been alone for tHree years . I havent been happy since I was eight . Two people readinG this can relate . And everyone else, probably is upset with me right about now .

I know y'all are out to get me .
That's why Im still here .




And if anybody decides to catch feelings and take affirmative action after reading all that . . . You better have a strong sense of hope for society once I'm gone .








(^~ I Am Living "This Perfect Life" ^*)